Are You Miserable Doing What Used To Be Exciting?

And maybe an even more important question is, what are you going to do about it?

Very few people, if any, love every aspect of what they do. There are usually at least a few things that are "just part of the job". We often don't mind the "bad" things as much, when the "good" things that we enjoy, vastly outweigh the bad.

Sometimes however... the good things can turn bad.

But why and how can good things turn bad?

And what should we do about it?

First - why and how good can turn bad?

1. You were trying to fill a hole using the wrong materials.

No one in their right mind would purposely fill the foundation of their house with shredded newspaper, instead of concrete. Trust me, I know shredded newspaper!

I once returned to my college dorm room to find the entire room full (3 feet or so high) of shredded newspaper. It truly was an incredible sight. What was more incredible though, was when my friend Ryan used that shredded newspaper to build a giant shredded newspaper mountain right in the middle of my dorm room; that almost reached the ceiling. His reason for building Mt. Saint Ryans? He was going to fall into its cushiony softness. So, in a moment of literal blind trust, he closed his eyes, cupped his hands behind his lower back, and tipped himself face first into the cloudy landing that awaited him. Unfortunately for him, none of us in the room were physics majors. Why does that matter? Because even a first-year physics major would have been able to deduce that Ryan's body mass would produce enough air displacement to forcefully (and immediately) drive every little shred of newspaper out of the way.

In English please, Ioannis?

As he fell, we watched all of the newspaper shreds of Mt. Saint Ryans seemingly instantly blow away from him... literally all the way down to being able to see the carpet where Mt. Saint Ryans had once stood. I will never forget the thud of Ryan's chin hitting the floor (the first thing to hit the floor). This took a while to write out, but everything happened in real time in about 2 seconds flat!

The point?

Newspaper shreds are not strong. They will not hold their place on their own. They are the wrong stuff to use as foundation material for a house (or for a “soft” landing for Ryan).

You were created by Jesus, for relationship with Jesus. You have a "Jesus shaped" whole inside of you, that only Jesus can fill. And when you try and fill that hole with the wrong stuff... well, you always end up landing chin first.

What does that look like in the real world?

Maybe you stayed in the role/business/industry that you did because you were receiving a solid stream of validation early on. After a few months or years though, maybe someone began excelling beyond you. Maybe those around you began taking you for granted. In other words, the motivator of validation began to dry up. When those motivators evaporated, you were left with only the role/business/industry itself... which without another source of motivation, would then feel like an oppressively crushing burden.

You stepped into that role trying to fill the “Jesus shaped” hole inside of you.

Only He can bring true value and validation! So, step into the true source of living water – relationship with Jesus!

2. You too often neglected needed rest.

Being tired and/or exhausted usually makes almost everything seem bad.

And getting tired and/or exhausted can be a very easy trap to fall into.

At first, it can be effortless to work a little extra here and there. Just a little, right? And, if you are the leader of a new endeavor, more than a little extra work is usually part of what you signed up for in those early stages. But those things can also quickly form unhealthy work habits that can be very hard to break out of later down the road.

"I agree Ioannis. I just need some rest."

Well, maybe. More on that in a moment.

First, let me say that rest alone won’t break unhealthy habits.

And second, let me clarify what rest is NOT:

-working a half-day.

-working while on "vacation".

-thinking about work while away from work.

-worrying and/or carrying the stress of work, while away from work.

Look, I know that those may have stung a bit... but the inconvenience of them being true does not negate the fact that they are true. Like I said this week to a client who owns a trucking business, if you ignore the fuel gauge, you will be stuck on the side of the road. The same is true for you.

3. You were made promises that are now clearly not going to happen.

The Bible says in Proverbs 13:12, that "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life." The Holy Bible, New King James Version, Copyright © 1982 Thomas Nelson.

Were you promised a position or authority or success or freedom that has yet to be realized... and you now believe probably never will be realized? You are not alone. Many of us have been there. You faithfully endured doing what you didn't enjoy, because you were focused on achieving the goal in front of you that you were promised. But, when it became clear that the goal was, as some co-workers once stated to me, nothing more than "rainbows and unicorns" (i.e. - false promises of great things), every task from that point forward was not only a crushing burden, but a constant reminder that you were lied to.

Yes, I am speaking from experience. I once took a promotion of sorts that required a cross-state move of my family and me. I thought that I was going to be co-leading a much bigger team and operation than I had been. It was exciting.

Upon my arrival however, I learned that aside from the work culture being more toxic than nuclear fallout (I was literally and repeatedly mocked to my face), I was actually being reduced in role to little more than the main leader's photocopy assistant. It was at this time that a couple of managers that worked for us, told me that they liked me, and were sad that I had no doubt fallen for the main leaders false promises of "rainbows and unicorns". I had not said ANYTHING to them despairingly of my situation. The main leader's reputation was simply preceding him.

Even on the few days where I actually did get to "do my thing", it was not at all the same as it had been. What I had once really enjoyed, had been destroyed. This leads into the next thing that can kill the joy of what we do – unhealthy culture.

4.      Unhealthy culture corrupts joyful work.

As you heard in my story above, it wasn’t just broken or false promises that sucked the joy out of my work… it was also unhealthy culture.

Look, most people don’t do what they do in the vacuum void of outer space. No, they do what they do alongside others. We were created for this. But when poor, or even evil leadership, corrupts healthy culture, the result is usually a complete loss of joy for the very tasks and work that we used to love.

5. The workload is not (or never was) realistic?

When I was a kid, we had VERY little money. I can remember being hungry often. In fact, instead of playing or "hanging out" at breaks while in Junior High, I worked in the lunchroom. I don't know if the rules actually allowed me to work in the lunchroom. I now realize that I was certainly NOT supposed to be compensated for working in the lunchroom. But that didn't stop those kind ladies from giving me a job... and paying me in food each day. My compensation had to be food that wasn't easily tracked. Prepackaged food... no. A bowl of chili out of the giant chili pot... absolutely! That is why years later, I began to realize the potential covertness (and maybe illegalness) of their kindness. It never seemed to me to be work that they couldn't use the help with. It also was never the more difficult work in the kitchen. I didn't make the chili in the giant chili pot, I just scooped it into a bowl when someone ordered it... freeing the ladies up to do other things. It was work that I could manage. I had to really step up at times to handle the pace at which the orders were coming in to me, but it was never more than I could handle. They never all walked out of the kitchen to take a break when I showed up, leaving me to fend for myself.

But that is very similar to what often happens to those who survive a round of layoffs. The workload didn't go away. No, there is just less people to handle the workload.

Or maybe the workload was never realistic.

I was once in management at an organization that had strict closing procedures for their stores. We could never actually achieve in one evening, all of what was listed to be done. It really bothered me. So, one night, I pulled my crew aside and told them what I wanted to do about it. I told them that we were going to go short staffed on the floor all night so that we had maximum people accomplishing closing tasks. We would literally begin closing over 8 hours before we were to close the store. I wanted them to work as quickly as possible. I was going to skip all of my breaks and lunch, and they volunteered to work through their breaks. I told them that we would not go home until we had done everything. And we accomplished it. All of it. Every. Single. Task. My crew and I were exhausted! And we left much later than we normally would have. The result, when I came in the next day, the head leader looked at me and directly asked, "What did you do last night?". He did not seem happy. So, I told him about my frustration and how we conquered the tasks. Then, he really was not happy. I was so confused. He then proceeded to tell me that the company knows that not everything can be accomplished in one close... that it was our jobs as leadership to prioritize and space out those tasks to be accomplished in due time. He was teaching me how to succeed in an unrealistic environment. While I appreciated his heart, I have never forgotten that I was purposefully put into a situation each workday where I would be able to accomplish that goals and tasks before me. I felt set-up to never be able to truly achieve. That type of environment, for many people, will quickly make the good, bad.

5. Your responsibilities changed but you didn't.

It is always exciting to get a promotion... at least until it isn't. So many "technicians" (think of technician in the broadest scope possible - anyone who has mastered the direct, non-leadership work of their field) accept the promotion into leadership, only to find that what they really did was take on an entirely new role. Why? Because leadership is its own, different role. It is ALWAYS its own, different role. Even if you lead a group of like-manner technicians, everything about your new role is totally different.

Or maybe your responsibility change wasn't a shift that happened in a singular moment. Maybe your responsibilities slowly morphed over time... maybe because you had an aptitude in areas that others didn't. We often don't realize that there is a HUGE difference between aptitude and motivation. It appears that I have an aptitude for handling disciplinary proceedings. The problem is that I ABSOLUTELY HATE handling disciplinary proceedings. I will do it when I have to, but I would never want to make a career out of it. Teachers enjoy teaching, but then wonder why they stop enjoying their job in education when they took the promotion to Dean of Students. Same field… totally different responsibilities… as in much more disciplinary proceedings. God bless you Dean of Students type folks!

Look, the above list is not an exhaustive list, but it should get you thinking realistically about your own circumstances.

So, what can you do about it all, if any of the above is you?

Make Changes. In my opinion, the worst thing that you could about it is... nothing.

"But Ioannis, there isn't anything that I can do to make a change."

Though at times options may be very slim, if you live in a free will country like the United States (at least at the time of this writing), there is almost always other options to your circumstances.

Receive Jesus. The first change that you need to make is fully receiving Jesus.

Remember that "Jesus shaped" whole that we discussed earlier? I promise you, we all have one. And I promise you that nothing but Jesus can fill one. He loves more than anyone else ever even can.

If you want to explore receiving Jesus, please call us at (208) 584 - 1400.

Get Help. Maybe the options in front of you all seem bad. Or maybe you just feel stuck in taking the first few steps forward. Or maybe you know what you need to do, but don't know how to best navigate through mine field that is blocking you from implementing healthy change. We have all been there.

Get help!

"Ioannis, you are talking about coaching, aren't you?"

Yes, coaching would certainly be one way of getting the help that you need. There are plenty of other good avenues too.

"Ioannis, why pay for coaching when I can ask for advice for free?"

People who give free advice, though they may be qualified, usually simply give you that advice and walk away. Like when you got a birthday present in the mail from your grandparents. They didn't labor with you, reading through the mind boggling instructions on how to actually assemble the gift. They simply bought it for you. A coach is with you... in the trenches, helping you to best navigate the road ahead. Click here to contact us about seeing if coaching is right for you.

Outsource. You didn’t go into ministry so that you could become the premier bookkeeper in your area.

You didn't start a tile installation business so that you could become a highly experienced, top-notch website designer.

You didn't begin your bakery so that you could administrate SharePoint, do payroll, or learn to process credit card transactions.

So, stop doing the things that take you away from the things that you should be doing...that you would much more rather be doing. Click here to see the list of tasks that you could get off of your plate ASAP, by outsourcing that work to us.

Rest. Remember though, there is a HUGE difference between "getting away" (especially when your work laptop is in your carry-on), and actually resting.

I worked for a leader who had to go on cruises to actually rest. I know that may sound kind of funny and like the typification of what would be deemed a "first-world" problem, but for him, it was true. He simply could not shut down unless he was on that boat. Why? Because the boat forced him to shut down all forms of outside communication. Remember, not too long ago, communications was not readily available on a globe covering level as it is now. Back then, when he got on that boat, there was no possible way for him to remotely log in, call anyone, or (maybe most importantly) be called by anyone. I have friends who have a family cabin literally in almost the middle of nowhere, that they love going too for much the same reasons. These things force them to truly shut down and rest.

The caveat to the above paragraph about rest comes when we are also talking about the latter stages of burn-out. (I cover burn-out in a lot more detail here, here, and here.) The recovery for early-stage burnout almost always starts with rest, and then quickly moves to making changes like getting help and outsourcing, to bring more balance to the imbalance that caused the initial burn-out to begin with. However, the only real solution to what I call, "late-stage burn-out" is making a gigantic change - a complete change out of anything and everything that even remotely resembles what you are burned-out from. This is why I address the topic of burn-out so heavily in so many of my writings... because it can be a career killer!

Fix Or Leave The Culture Problem. There really isn’t much else of an option here. If you are in a place to be able to fix the culture problems, do it! (I give some tips and tricks on how to best fix those types of problems here and here.) If you are not in a place to fix the culture problems, leave… or you are choosing to suffer under them. Please DO NOT think that you have the power to fix culture problems when you really do not have that power. I promise you that in such an instance, you will quickly become part of the problem!

Build A Strategic Exit Plan.

Picture copied from their website here.

A few years ago, Cirrus Design Corporation built a small propeller plane that had the Cirrus Airframe Parachute System® (CAPS®). It is literally a parachute system for the entire plane. Why? Because when you fly on a commercial flight, there is always at least two pilots flying that plane. If something happens to one pilot, the other can safely land the plane. In private aviation, often times the only pilot on the plane is the pilot flying the plane. If something happens to that pilot, in many airplanes, everyone on board is in trouble. But, in a Cirrus plane, a passenger can deploy the whole plane parachute… and probably not die by not smashing into the ground at a high rate of speed. And now, most modern planes that have auto-pilot features also have an auto-land feature, for much the same reasons. We celebrate these advancements, don't we?  Everyone feels a little safer with a working parachute in tow.

At their core, these are strategic exit plans. And in much the same way as people feel comforted by a working parachute, you will feel comforted by a working strategic exit plan.

The other day I was walking by an elementary school and heard over their PA system that they were about to have a fire drill. Remember those? The buzzer goes off and you are told to orderly file out of the building and into a nearby open area. That is another example of the power of a strategic exit plan, and if practiced well, can very much save lives.

Many people can easily begin to feel trapped in the firey inferno of stress that they find themselves immersed in. Just like in the example above, a strategic exit plan can very quickly remove that trapped feeling – and orderly guide out to freedom in that open field.

"Ioannis, you guys help with those too, don't you?"

You got it. It can be part of the coaching work that we do with you. Click here to contact us about seeing if strategic exit plan coaching is right for you.

Final comments:

Make Changes.

"Ioannis, you already said this – verbatim… above!"

Yep, and I think you may have already forgotten it. So, I am going to lay it out again, here - at the end, because it is really that important within this discussion.

In my opinion, the worst thing that you could about it is... nothing. "But there isn't anything that I can do to make a change." Though at times options may be very slim, if you live in a free will country like the United States (at least at the time of this writing), there is almost always other options to your circumstances.