​People often wonder what ministry coaching is. My close friend, Pastor Sam, captured it best:

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"...someone who would listen, understand what I was going through, and guide me to take my eyes off the growing ministry or its problems, and turn my gaze back to Jesus."

 

We at Grats know the troubles, stresses, heartaches, fears, hurts, and even angers that can accompany ministry. We get it! And most of the time, we also have been given the wisdom to know what to do about it. (Hint: That last part of Pastor Sam's statement is ALWAYS the starting point!). This all is part of why we have been called to this work. And make no mistake - we have been called to this work of coaching pastors.

 

Having said all of that, can we address out of the gate one of the most common questions that ministers have in opposition to the work that we do:

 

“What can I get from coaching that I cannot get from calling pastor friends of mine?”

 

This was basically what one pastor said to me on a Meet and Greet call (a call designed for people interested in coaching with us, to explore it a little more). Already a little confused? Let us start this story from the beginning...

 

The pastor who asked the question above had been referred to us by one of our pastoral coaching clients. Our client had testified to his friend (the pastor who asked the question above) that our client's ministry and life had been wonderfully changed by the Lord through coaching. Based on that testimony from our client, his friend (the pastor who asked the question above) agreed to a Meet and Greet call with us. However, almost from the outset of that Meet and Greet call, it seemed that this pastor was clearly offended that he would even be considered for coaching. Why he chose to be on the call with us, we still have no idea.

 

We knew before starting this ministry that pastors would respond this way (being offended at the notion of coaching). It was our complaint to the Lord when He first called us to this ministry:

 

“They don’t want it, they’re too prideful for it, and they won’t pay for it.”

 

And He wanted us to rest our livelihood upon it?

 

And yet, we knew (and still know) that pastors desperately need it:

 

• as decades of Barna numbers have shown (the church in America is in and has been, in steady decline for decades).

• as decades of various denominational numbers have shown (the church in America is in and has been, in steady decline for decades).

• as this article will show.

 

In fact, denominations are now trying to move to mandate some form of coaching among their pastors. The problem: the pastors continue to fight it and shoot it down.

 

(Sidenote: We agree with the pastors here as mandating coaching NEVER works. You can’t mandate salvation, spiritual growth, discipleship, or coaching – a form of discipleship. Ok, back to the story…)

 

We admit, we were very frustrated on the inside, that this pastor would come on a call to explore coaching, seemingly offended from the beginning... but we were not letting it show on the outside. We had a job to do. Besides, maybe we could help this pastor see the positive truths about coaching. And then the pastor flat out asked that question: “What can I get from coaching that I cannot get from calling pastor friends of mine?”

 

Seriously? Now we were struggling to keep our composure.

 

And then we felt like the Lord gave a brilliant (and VERY ACCURATE) response through us. We asked the pastor how many of those pastor friends has he actually called in the last 8 months. He said a few. We asked him how often he called them. He said a couple of times - total. We asked him what he and his pastor friends talked about. He said:

 

• The design of their foyer.

• How to fill out tax forms. (Don’t call a pastor about that – FYI.)

• How to fill out W2 forms. (Or that.)

 

We told him that in coaching, we would drill down into his walk with the Lord – growing it and deepening it. We would drill into the vision for ministry that the Lord has given him for his church – discussing how to best implement it to drive success. We told him that we would tackle challenges together when they came up, and that the time to start coaching was NOT when you found yourself in the middle of big challenges. And finally, we told him that part of the power of coaching is the regular consistency of the conversations that happen - like clockwork. That consistency and that accountability is huge.

 

His response?

 

“What can I get from coaching that I cannot get from calling pastor friends of mine?”

 

Yes – he asked that question again!!!

 

We have found that when people repeat the same question in the face of already having been delivered a highly comprehensive answer, they either purposely did not listen to the answer and/or are ignoring wisdom and truth, so that they can maintain their predetermined standpoint/decision/will.

 

The phone call lasted a few more minutes and then it was done.

 

Yes, we had (for the most part) kept our composure all the way through… but we were so mad. What a waste of time. He agreed to a phone call with us for what… to argue with us about the validity of the ministry that God has given to us? Or to validate to us that he is a good pastor? Just like so many other pastors that we have encountered. So much pride… out of so much brokenness.

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Clearly, the ministry of coaching pastors, is far more impactful than the quarterly call to a pastoral friend about filling out tax forms. But, in case that is still not totally apparent to you...